Compassion – Gratitude

Compassion, Gratitude, Present Moment Awareness

Triskele

September 7, 2021September 7, 2021 darkchocolatepeace

“Maybe it is time for you to walk into your fears.”

Where do I begin?

Dr. Lindley explained that people oftentimes seek out their fears in order to build courage. Some opt to walk on fire, others swim with sharks. I decided to start with the most accessible route: my fear of needles.

I decided to start with the most accessible route: my fear of needles.

For as long as I can remember, I have been afraid of needles. I have passed out on many occasions while getting my blood drawn. With each of my three pregnancies, I declined an epidural, because my fear of the needle was greater than my fear of labor pain.

I immediately went home and contacted a tattoo artist.

I decided my fear of needles was a perfect starting place. Michael Brown suggests that the things that are difficult, like triggers, are messengers that point us to our unfinished work within. Michael suggests figuratively dismissing the messenger (the difficult person or situation) and breathing through the difficult feelings that come up without resisting them.

I had never before entertained a tattoo. I decided to go with something that represented my journey into fear. A Triskele is an ancient symbol found in many cultures. The Celtic version of the three legged spiral represents a journey of forward motion to reach understanding. The three connected spirals represent everlasting cycles, transforming at each point. The three representations that held special meaning for me:

Body, Mind, Spirit
Father, Son, Holy Spirit (Divine Feminine)
Life, Death, Rebirth

I especially connected to the Triskele as a reminder to not forget my body again. As a child, I learned to forget. There were a lot of good reasons to not trust the sensations of my body or the emotions of my heart. My little girl (me as a child) coped with the chaos by disconnecting from her body and living in her mind. The coping strategies of a little girl are necessary and work for a time. But, these coping strategies became an obstacle to living life fully as an adult.

My fascination with the Enneagram began to open my eyes to how fragmented I had become. Like the Triskele, the symbol of the Enneagram is also divided into three parts that make up the whole: body, heart, and head. The Enneagram teaches that we develop unconscious coping strategies at a very young age to manage overwhelming fears. When we are afraid, our strategies corner us into rigid unconscious patterns. We unconsciously fragment ourselves, relying on one strategy, while neglecting the other parts of the whole. I relied solely on my thoughts, while neglecting the body and heart.

My coping became an obstacle to living fully.

I was missing the gifts of the whole.

Unfortunately, the mind by itself has no anchor in present moment. Thoughts by themselves reel haphazardly between past and future like a ship missing its compass in present moment awareness. The sensations in the body; the breath, contractions, lightness, heaviness, etc., always exist in the present moment. Your body sensations are always now. The itch on your foot happens now. A mind that is anchored in the sensations of the body is here now. Emotions anchored in the body are here now. Sadly, a mind all alone by itself is left to think constantly and unproductively with no hope of discernment.

I chose the Triskele as a reminder to not forget my body again.

I picked out the image of the Triskele featured above. I loved that the three spirals were not perfectly symmetrical, each one is a little different. Each spiral has its own unique wisdom. I could learn to honor the wisdom of each as an experience of the whole. I also loved the three dots that are not typically part of the Triskele. For me, they represented the tools I would need on my journey: compassion, humility, and gratitude. The entire image with its spirals and dots represents Divine Love.

I decided the image would need to be somewhere I would see it every day because of my tendency to forget myself. I wanted to fully commit, no matter what anyone thought, to really taking on this journey whole-heartedly. I chose my inner left forearm – also connected with my heart.

Perfect love drives out fear. Love is the guide. Open in love.

Honestly, consciously choosing to get the tattoo gave ample opportunity to work through my fear of needles. For four weeks, I meditated every morning and night. I breathed through the sensations of fear without resisting them. On the day I received the tattoo of the Triskele, I felt completely peaceful. I experienced a needle for the first time without fear.

When the artist was finished, I looked down at my arm and smiled.

And now it begins…

I commend my Spirit
unto the grace of the Great Way.
Whether consciously or not
this has always been
the doorway to liberation.
All you lovers of truth
and all you true lovers
now is the time to be done with it.
Wash your battle-scarred hands
in this Presence among us.
Cast off your warriors’ clothing
and slip into your night slippers.
Untie your hair or cut it off.
The Hidden One is present
and doesn’t care where you’ve been
or what you’ve done
or what you are doing now.
Commend all of yourself-
body, mind, and spirit
to this Grace.
Slip out into the night air
into the waiting
quivering birth of this Golden Heart.
Lean down now
like wet, green grass and
kiss the bottoms of your feet.
-Adyashanti

Compassion, Parenting

What I Learned about Compassionate Parenting from Kim Fredrickson’s Book: Give Your Kids a Break: Parenting with Compassion for You and Your Children

October 25, 2017 darkchocolatepeace

This year was challenging. That is not true. Let me start over. This has been one of the most challenging years of my life. My teenage daughter has been battling chronic illness. During numerous appointments, doctors’ offices, radiologists, and people who claim to be experts, her pain increased and she grew sicker. I felt helpless. I felt scared. I dealt with my feelings of ineptness by overcompensating, suggesting constant possibilities, and staying eternally positive. The more I spiraled into “help mode,” the more she pulled away. She needed me to back off, but she did not know how to tell me. She needed me to be present with her in the middle of her pain, but she did not need me to fix things. She needed her mom.

At the same time, my dear friend, Kim Fredrickson, shared with me that she was writing a book about compassionate parenting based on her three decades of teaching parenting workshops. She asked if I could read the manuscript and then write about what the book meant to me. I immediately agreed due to the transformational impact her first book had on my life and relationships, Give Yourself a Break: Turning Your Inner Critic into a Compassionate Friend.

As I opened the pages of Kim’s new book, I found what I needed at just the right time: I needed clear guidance on how to be present with my daughter amid her crisis in a way that validated her experience. From the beginning, Kim normalized both my frustration at not knowing how to help my daughter, not to mention how much I was beating myself up inside:

“We can be hard on ourselves. We don’t mean to, we simply don’t know another way to respond to our struggles and failures as a parent. We need compassion, not only for ourselves and the impossible job of being a parent, but for our children too. We have a lot in common with our children. We’ve never been a parent, and they’ve never been a child. We are all on a big learning curve.” (2017, Fredrickson)

From this point forward in the book, I learned from Kim how my own compassion toward myself is essential for a healthy life for my children that begins with my own journey as a healthy parent. Kim speaks compassion into the pain we feel when we realize our limitations as human beings.

“Self-compassion is a crucial practice for parents. If we continually give to others without nurturing ourselves, our emotional gas tank will be stuck on empty. By nurturing and supporting ourselves, we will have more emotional resources to give to our children. By forgiving ourselves for the inevitable mistakes we make as parents—remembering we’re only human and doing the best we can—we won’t waste precious energy beating ourselves up. Instead, we can learn from our mistakes and focus on the joy and meaning found in raising our little (or big) ones.” (2017, Fredrickson)

Kim offers clear practical guidance in each chapter on topics important to the parent/child relationship:

Teaching Your Children Self-Compassion
Building Emotional Closeness with Your Children
Getting Your Kids to Listen
Healthy Boundaries: Setting Limits with Love
Parenting with Grace and Truth: Building Personal Responsibility
Helping Kids Cooperate
Helping Your Kids Become Emotionally Healthy
Helping Kids with Anger and Fears
Skills Helping Kids Work Through Tough Situations
Coaching Your Kids Through Life

The chapter on building emotional closeness helped me work on being present with my daughter during her daily struggle. Kim’s words echoed my experience:

“We sometimes feel so bad for what they are going through that we want to jump in and make it better, or comment on the bright side. We may feel like it’s being helpful, but it isn’t. What they need is for us to join them in their pain and not minimize what they are going through.” (2017, Fredrickson)

Throughout the chapter, Kim guides the process of building validation of our child’s experience. She gives practical and clear directions on how to create empathy with our children when we seek to understand.

I found myself focusing more on the challenging task of moving toward my daughter’s pain, frustration, anger, sadness, and fear while focusing less on my compulsion to fix her. Every day I tried to pay attention to Kim’s compassionate guidance to simply be present with my daughter. I slipped back into fix-it mode on the bad days, especially the days that were scary like the post-surgical days when she was supposed to be getting better, but was not. In those moments, I tried to be kind to myself and called a few friends for support.

“Extending kindness to ourselves means we see ourselves as human beings who are wonderfully made by God and valuable, yet who are imperfect and make mistakes. This plays out in the way we view ourselves, speak to ourselves, listen to ourselves, care for ourselves, and respond to ourselves when we make mistakes. It also means learning to comfort ourselves and tending to our needs when we are hurt, lonely, tired, disappointed, sad, or angry. This may sound foreign to you because it is such a different way to approach yourself.” (2017, Fredrickson)

Give Your Kids a Break: Parenting with Compassion for You and Your Children is one of the most helpful parenting books I have ever read. Kim’s book provides clear guidance within the context of the challenges of parenting in today’s world. She is real about the realities of being too busy, tired, overwhelmed by social media, and so many other pressures parents experience. This book is filled with practical tools for parents that desire healthy relationships with our children in the hopes they will grow into healthy resilient adults. That is the journey my daughter and I are on together, and I am happy to say that Kim’s book helped me give my daughter the space she needed while she was healing. Thankfully, after months of medical care, she is doing better.

Thanks to my daughter who read over this blog post and agreed that we could publish it. Thanks to my husband for his editing and polishing skills. And a big thank you to Kim Fredrickson. My daughter and I are in a much better place today because of Kim’s wise teachings of truth and grace.

Compassion, Loving Kindness

Self-Care Houston

April 20, 2017November 11, 2018 darkchocolatepeace

Today I am very grateful that a fun idea has become a reality. I started a podcast where I host conversations with healing professionals (therapists, physicians, wholistic practitioners, psychiatrists, spiritual figures) throughout the Houston area about health and wellness topics.

In the first episode, I have the honor of joining Shannon McLain in a conversation about the practice of Self-Compassion. Shannon is a mind-body medicine practitioner and certified health and wellness coach at The Center for Intentional Healing.

I am thrilled to invite you along for the ride!

Subscribe on iTunes.

Compassion, Gratitude, Loving Kindness

A Word Imagined

February 10, 2017November 11, 2018 darkchocolatepeace

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by Jennifer Christian, LPC and Dr. Jeff M. Christian

Words of hate tear at the fabric of our society; words of kindness mend.

Imagine.

Imagine life without unkind words. Imagine comments sections on your favorite website that only allow constructive criticism, words meant to further the conversation rather than out-shout those who disagree.

Today, online words of hate, abuse, fear, and violence are rampant. The intensity of negativity overwhelms us, a tsunami of words altering our lives without us realizing their enormous power. This new world often feels devoid of kindness. Few of us would choose to pass on this world to the next generations, so we begin this project in the hopes that we can change the future by changing the present.

We have power to create a better world.

Imagine.

Imagine a world that offers encouragement. Imagine a world where people matter. Too often, though, we feel helpless in even thinking about making a change. Where should we begin?

Well, we have some ideas.

Start with some simple things. Appreciation and gratitude, for instance, are powerful tools that can help rebuild this world. Every word of kindness heals, builds resilience, and draws people together.
John Gottman found that it takes five positive interactions to overcome one negative interaction. Relationships find balance when positive interactions outweigh the negative ones. At times we will misunderstand each other and say the wrong things. We are human, after all. However, for the health of all our relationships, we have the power to create better worlds for ourselves, as well as all of those around us. Our hope that we can do this together is reminiscent of John Lennon’s line, “You may say I’m a dreamer, but I’m not the only one.”

So let’s imagine a better world. One word of kindness can create ripples of healing across our society. If we come together to dedicate building reserves of gratitude in our families, places of work, and all other communities, we can change the tide of negativity.

Here are some other practical suggestions to get us started:

Get creative. We can share great ideas on how to build more positivity into our society. Join our public Facebook group, A Word Imagined, to share ideas.

Remember the magic ratio of 5-to-1. Each week send five notes of encouragement, whether online or handwritten.

Practice gratitude at home as a family. “Researchers found that a nourishing cycle of encouragement and appreciation provides extra incentive to maintain our relationships. In other words, when we appreciate our partners, we develop trust and respect. When we feel appreciated, we feel needed and encouraged.” (Susan Heitler)

Notice the words you say to yourself. Learn how to offer yourself words of kindness and compassion: “Life can be rough without the comfort, balance and guidance of a self-compassionate friend on the inside. Lack of self-compassion affects our relationships and our well being in profoundly negative ways. What a difference it makes to go through life with a kind friend on the inside rather than an internal critic or bully!” (Kim Fredrickson)

Please take a moment to share this article and this project with friends and family. Together, we can create the world we imagine.

For Further Reading:

On appreciation and gratitude:

http://www.jenniferchristiancounseling.com/mental-health/7-powerful-ways-gratitude-will-change-your-life/

On John Gottman’s five interactions:

https://www.gottman.com/blog/the-positive-perspective-dr-gottmans-magic-ratio/

On practicing gratitude at home as a family:

http://www.jenniferchristiancounseling.com/relationships/four-ways-to-build-trust-with-your-partner/?preview_id=538&preview_nonce=b7d0d3d768&post_format=standard&_thumbnail_id=542&preview=true

On Susan Heitler’s work on gratitude in marriage:

https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/resolution-not-conflict/201207/does-gratitude-matter-in-marriage

On Kim Fredrickson’s work on self-compassion:

http://www.jenniferchristiancounseling.com/counseling/self-compassion-is-vital-for-a-healthy-life/

Compassion, Gratitude, Loving Kindness, peace

Practicing Peace Daily

July 26, 2016 darkchocolatepeace

Peace I am thinking about practicing virtues. I think about it often. My church family chooses a virtue every year to practice together. Last year it was joy. This year it’s peace. I am grateful to be a part of a community asking what it means to be people of peace in times that feel disorienting. A passage from Colossians 3 is framing our year-long adventure:

“Therefore, as God’s chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience. Bear with each other and forgive one another if any of you has a grievance against someone. Forgive as the Lord forgave you. And over all these virtues put on love, which binds them all together in perfect unity.

“Let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, since as members of one body you were called to peace. And be thankful. Let the message of Christ dwell among you richly as you teach and admonish one another with all wisdom through psalms, hymns, and songs from the Spirit, singing to God with gratitude in your hearts. And whatever you do, whether in word or deed, do it all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him.” (Colossians 3:12-17)

The text guides me in peace; I am thankful. The wisdom of people in my community broadens me; I am grateful. How do I become a person of peace? Clothe myself daily with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness, patience, forgiveness, love, and gratitude toward myself and others. Okay. Got it. Practice compassion, kindness, forgiveness, gratitude… sounds simple, right?

Well.

I keep getting snagged on challenges. I have been forced to spend some time around people. Frustrating people. Difficult people. I find it hard to access compassion, kindness, or gentleness. Instead, I feel anger, frustration, and sadness. Not peace.

Why is peace so hard? What about compassion and kindness?

Recently, I found comfort from Pema Chodron’s description of her own experience of cultivating love, kindness, compassion, and joy:

“Cultivating these four qualities, love, kindness, compassion, and joy, gives us insight into our current experience. It gives us understanding of the state of our mind and heart right now. We get to know the experience of love and compassion, of joy and kindness, and also of their opposites. We learn how it feels when one of the four qualities is stuck and how it feels when it is flowing freely. We never pretend that we feel anything we don’t. The practice depends on embracing our whole experience. By becoming intimate with how we close down and how we open up, we awaken our unlimited potential.

“It might feel like stretching into make-believe to say, ‘May this person who is driving me crazy enjoy happiness and be free of suffering.’ Probably what we genuinely feel is anger. This practice is like a workout that stretches the heart beyond its current capabilities. We can expect to encounter resistance. We discover that we have our limits: we can stay open to some people, but we remain closed to others. We see both our clarity and our confusion. We are learning firsthand what everyone who has ever set out on this path has learned: we are all a paradoxical bundle of rich potential that consists of both neurosis and wisdom.”

As I practice, I end up coming across my limitations, places where I need to grow and stretch my heart. Like physical exercise, these virtues take effort. When I am in familiar territory, around people I love and enjoy, I can access compassion, peace, and kindness. It comes naturally. However, when I decide to practice all day, every day, I encounter no shortage of opportunities to… well… practice. Even in times of frustration, those frustrations are opportunities for growth.

I am learning that a person of peace has to keep practicing. I need to practice with my spouse, with my children, with my church family, my coworkers, and my friends. It matters.

So, once again, it is time to go out into the world as a practitioner of peace still learning what it is to practice peace:

“Therefore, as God’s chosen people, holy and dearly loved… let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, since as members of one body you were called to peace.”

Compassion, Gratitude

My Compassionate Friend

June 10, 2015June 10, 2015 darkchocolatepeace

Several weeks ago, I received an email from a woman I have never met, Kim Fredrickson, a licensed mental health counselor in California. In her email, she said that she had found my articles on self-compassion and asked if I would read her recent book on self-compassion from a Christian perspective, “Give Yourself a Break: Turning Your Inner Critic Into a Compassionate Friend” and pass the book along to anyone that might benefit. Before responding to her request, I read through some of her articles and was deeply touched by her personal story, her courage, and how God is at work in her life. She was recently diagnosed with a terminal illness and has dedicated to live each day of the rest of her life as a testimony to God’s compassion, truth, and grace.

We began to email back and forth and found so much in common, especially a calling to share God’s compassion in a very personal way. Through Kim’s emails, I personally received words of encouragements and prayers over my transition into private practice. Even as I type, I feel so blessed and grateful that God brought Kim into my life as an encourager and mentor.

Last night, I received her new book in the mail and immediately read over half of it. It is wonderful. I was so excited this morning that I jumped out of bed to write this blog! Here is a little taste of a book packed with wisdom, words of grace, and practical ways to apply compassion:

“As children we’re taught to treat others the way we would like to be treated. But as adults, we often need to turn that old maxim around. We’re good at showing compassion to other people – but many of us have trouble showing that same compassion to ourselves.”

“Self-compassion is absolutely essential for healthy, balanced living. It provides huge benefits including emotional resiliency, stress reduction, contentment, and healthier relationships. Without it we are vulnerable to the opinions of others and find it difficult to deal with and let go of our mistakes. It is tough enough to go through a difficult situation, especially when we think we had a part in creating it. It is another kind of torture to never be able to let go of self-criticism and blame… God’s heart is tender toward us in our suffering, frailties, and mistakes. He is our perfect example of balancing truth and grace. He knows we are but dust and is merciful (Ps. 78:38-39).”

I am deeply grateful for my compassionate friend. She has ministered to me personally… and we have never even met. I am deeply grateful for her boldness and courage. I highly recommend her book for anyone who struggles with an inner critic and negative views of self.

I am grateful. God works in marvelous and mysterious ways.

Compassion, Gratitude, Loving Kindness

Letting It Matter

July 9, 2014July 9, 2014 darkchocolatepeace

Today I am grateful for a reminder to look for the beauty in everything… even ourselves. I heard sprinkles of wisdom throughout this day: We matter. You matter. I matter. The moments we share together, when we feel seen and understood, can be healing moments that move gently toward healing our world… like a pebble dropped in water that creates concentric circles that get wider and wider.

The first wisdom was a quote from the author of Momastery:

“Look for the mess in others- you’ll find it. Look for the beauty in others- you’ll find it. Seek and you shall find. It’s just the rule. We need to deepen our vision, maybe. Learn to look past the surface and into the depths of people and stories. It’s often quite lovely there.” Glennon Doyle Melton

Then, I listened to Krista Tippet’s interview with Rachel Naomi-Remen. She shared a story her orthodox Jewish grandfather told her as a present for her fourth birthday. It originated in the Kabbalah Jewish tradition:

“In the beginning there was only the holy darkness, the Ein Sof, the source of life. And then, in the course of history, at a moment in time, this world, the world of a thousand thousand things, emerged from the heart of the holy darkness as a great ray of light. And then, perhaps because this is a Jewish story, there was an accident, and the vessels containing the light of the world, the wholeness of the world, broke. And the wholeness of the world, the light of the world was scattered into a thousand thousand fragments of light, and they fell into all events and all people, where they remain deeply hidden until this very day.

“Now, according to my grandfather, the whole human race is a response to this accident. We are here because we are born with the capacity to find the hidden light in all events and all people, to lift it up and make it visible once again and thereby to restore the innate wholeness of the world. It’s a very important story for our times.

“And this task is called tikkun olam in Hebrew. It’s the restoration of the world. And this is, of course, a collective task. It involves all people who have ever been born, all people presently alive, all people yet to be born. We are all healers of the world. And that story opens a sense of possibility. It’s not about healing the world by making a huge difference. It’s about healing the world that touches you, that’s around you.

“It’s a very old story, comes from the 14th century, and it’s a different way of looking at our power. And I suspect it has a key for us in our present situation, a very important key. I’m not a person who is a political person in the usual sense of that word, but I think that we all feel that we’re not enough to make a difference, that we need to be more somehow, either wealthier or more educated or somehow or other different than the people we are. And according to this story, we are exactly what’s needed. And to just wonder about that a little, what if we were exactly what’s needed? What then? How would I live if I was exactly what’s needed to heal the world?” Rachel Naomi Remen

What if we are enough and exactly what is needed in this moment in time? What if all that matters is the person you happen to be with at any given moment?

Good food. Love. Compassion. Laughter. Tears. Touch. It matters.

Chocolate, Compassion, Dessert, Gratitude

I Am Magdalene

September 21, 2013September 21, 2013 darkchocolatepeace

Today I am thankful for:

Photograph by Cathleen Tarawhiti

1. A moment. She and I together. She has seen too much of life. Five children with several fathers. Time and time again, searching for love and coming up short… She looks at me, smiles, and says, “I am Magdalene.” She knows Jesus. Jesus sees her and loves her for all time. I feel as if I am in the midst of sacred beauty. Joy.

2. Happy Unbirthday. We surprised them again! Our kids came home from school, unsuspecting, to a house filled with decorations and a present for each of us. The Beatles’ Today is Your Birthday blaring on the stereo. “How did you do it again?” our daughter laughs with the biggest smile. Celebrate!

3. Dark Chocolate Pie! Our unbirthday celebration was made complete with dark, rich, chocolately goodness. Chocolate makes everything better!

Dark Chocolate Pie

1 (9 inch) pie crust, baked
1 1/2 cups white sugar
1/3 cup cornstarch
1/2 teaspoon salt
3 cups milk
1 cup semisweet chocolate chips
2 (1 ounce) squares unsweetened chocolate, chopped
4 egg yolks, beaten
1 teaspoon vanilla extract

1. Combine sugar, cornstarch, and salt in a saucepan. Stir in milk gradually. Add chocolate chips and unsweetened chocolate. Place over medium heat, stirring constantly, until mixture thickens and boils. Boil and stir 1 minute. Take off burner.
2. Give the eggs a brief whisk in a separate bowl. Take about a quarter of the chocolate mixture and, working with just a few teaspoons at a time, pour it into the eggs as you whisk continuously. Adding the chocolate mixture this slowly prevents the eggs from being cooked instantly from exposure to heat.
3. Whisk egg yolk mixture back into mixture in saucepan. Place over medium heat and bring back to a boil, stirring constantly. Boil and stir 1 minute. Remove from heat; stir in vanilla extract.
4. Pour mixture into baked pie shell. Press a layer of plastic wrap onto filling. Refrigerate at least 4 hours but no longer than 48 hours. Remove plastic wrap before serving and top with whipped topping.

Compassion, Gratitude

In Memory of My Mother

January 17, 2013January 17, 2013 darkchocolatepeace

“Gratitude practice is useful because it turns the mind in such a way that it enables you to live into life or, more accurately, to die into life. Having access to the joy and wonderment of life is the antidote to feelings of scarcity and loss. It allows you to meet life’s difficulties with an open heart.” Philip Moffitt

Today my family grieves the loss of my mother. She died on Friday, and will be missed by many, especially my dad. The relationship between my mother and I has been a journey of “strength and struggle.” Brené Brown came up with this phrase, and I lean into it. The multiple textures in life are encompassed in this idea of “strength and struggle”… light and dark… beauty and scars. Those that knew us well know the contrast between these two worlds in our relationship, and probably most relationships for that matter.

I want to focus on the strengths… the treasures I intend to pass on to my children. I wish I could tell her in person. I hope she is looking over my shoulder as I type.

Today I am thankful for:

1. My mother’s love of learning. She was the director of the public library in her small, East Texas town for 15 years. Anyone in Crockett can tell you of my mother’s passion for books, access to technology, and honoring the past. Over her years, her vision transformed the little library into a central meeting place. Various murals of Texas history and Winnie the Pooh will be a comforting reminder of her influence.

2. My mother’s prayer shawl ministry. Over the past week, I have had a number of people come up to me and tell me about the beautiful shawl my mother prayerfully created for them when they were ill. She prayed over every stitch of almost 50 prayer shawls. Some have lost loved ones, but have a shawl to gently remind them that someone cares, and that they are not alone.

3. My mother’s love of music. When I was in elementary school, I decided to play the flute. My parents had little money to spare because my dad is a preacher. In those days, some preachers even got paid in canned goods. That did not stop them from scrimping and saving so they could buy my flute and piccolo. They sacrificed other financial priorities so that I could gain a musical education. Music is a gift that I cherish as I continue to play my flute and sing.

4. My father’s love for my mother. Over the past couple of weeks I am honored to have witnessed my father’s devotion to my mom. When I was with them at the hospital, I felt as if I was stepping into a sacred space as my father tenderly and compassionately cared for her every need and desire. He slept little and rarely left her side. In fact, for her last three nights, he held her hand as she slept. He modeled for me what it is to love deeply… even to the very last breath. I am grateful to share these precious memories with my father.

I am sad and tired and overflowing with gratitude. God walks alongside (2 Cor. 3: 1-5). We do not feel alone.

Compassion, Gratitude

Youth Group, Friends, and Storm Clouds

December 9, 2012December 9, 2012 darkchocolatepeace

Today I am thankful for:

1. Time with our youth group. We gathered together to prepare some of the food for our church Christmas dinner next Sunday. Essence of onion wafted through the air as we pureed. Many onion induced tears were shed along with laughter. Kids, moms, and dads measured, mashed, stirred, chopped, boiled, fried, and hustled all over the kitchen area. Everything is better together.

2. Friends. One of my very favorite artists is Kelly Rae Roberts. I am deeply grateful to a friend who gave me the Kelly Rae Robert’s calendar today. I may have gone a little over the top as I said, “this is my favorite, no wait, this is my favorite,” about each and every painting included in the calendar. It is even autographed by Kelly Rae. I acted a little silly, but feel deeply honored that she thought of me. Blessed.

3. Gratitude. I am deeply grateful for this practice. I had a moment earlier today where I said something that may have upset someone else (open mouth… insert foot). For a time afterwards, I found myself fretting over the possible implications. Then, it dawned on me, this is one instance in several years of lovely interactions. Everyone makes mistakes and has an off moment. Right? (I hope there is a resounding “yes” right now!!!) What was really fascinating was how difficult it was to see all of the beautiful positives because of one potential negative that swooped over like a dark storm cloud. I stepped back (in my mind) and started to go over the day again, remembering the onions and laughter, breakfast with my husband, going to the donut shop, music lessons with my kids, and a pile of laundry that is all put away. Gratitude practice teaches me to be more compassionate with myself. The dark clouds begin to lift.

What are you thankful for?

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